Entropy: A Life in Shorts
by StarzOfDraco
Summary: A collection of shorts in no particular order starring my F!mage from the unfinished story 'Entropy: A Curse in a Gift.'
1. First Kiss

**The First Kiss**

Kirah let out a frustrated sigh, border lining on a growl "Maker's balls Wynne, will you quit talking down to me!"

"Child, I am simply offering advice." The 'Old Woman,' as Morrigan liked to call her, shifted her weight from foot to foot, crossing her arms in the process. Wynne was never one to hide any disappointment, or keep her opinions to herself for that matter and that drove Kirah absolutely mad. As much as Kirah looked up to the old biddy's magical prowess, Wynne could certainly be insufferable at times.

"The others may look to you for a motherly figure, but I for one had a mother. Just because you are old enough to be her doesn't mean you even come close to what she was to me!" Kirah tightened her jaw, fist firmly planted at her sides. She must have been louder than she realized for her entire party had their eyes locked on her. In a huff, Kirah stormed out of camp finding a log just on the outskirts where she could sit and fester.

Little time passed before she heard a slow clap accompanied by footsteps approaching from behind her. Rolling her eyes, Kirah glared over her shoulder "Go away Morrigan."

"I merely wished to congratulate you on finally obtaining a spine" Morrigan cackled, using that laugh she adored using when she was obviously toying with someone. "Perhaps you are not quite the fool I once thought you to be."

"Go-a-way!" Kirah repeated, pronouncing each syllable through gritted teeth.

Morrigan let out a breathy sigh "So be it. T'was meant as a compliment, do not expect to hear another."

Kirah remained silent, stewing in her anger as she heard Morrigan traipse off.

_Andraste's ass, I hate mages _Kirah thought to herself. _Even more so that I am one._

She hated herself. Wynne didn't deserve to be treated like that and she knew it. Kirah always overreacted when anyone became close to her, in an emotional sense. When Wynne started looking over her like she was some lost child in desperate need of mentoring, she couldn't handle it, no matter how true it might have been. _Family dies _Kirah reminded herself _Even Jowan._ Jowan was the closest thing to a brother she had, and even though he technically wasn't her biological brother, Jowan still fell victim to Kirah's curse. Granted, she was able to convince Arl Eamon to turn Jowan over to the circle, but she knew what would become of him. _Becoming Tranquil was like dying and I am the cause of it._

"I get it you know."

Barely paying attention to her surroundings, Kirah didn't quite hear what was said, but knew _something_ had been said. _Sodding Morrigan_ was the only thought that crossed her mind.

"Morrigan, didn't I tell you to go away?" Kirah let the annoyance show in her tone.

"Morrigan? Ouch. Stab me in the face before you insult me like that."

Kirah froze as she realized that wasn't Morrigan's voice. She could've slapped herself in the forehead then and there for she knew whose voice that was. How could she not? It was the voice that has been with her from the beginning. It was the voice that kept her sane. It was, for a lack of a better term, _her_ portable templar.

"Alistair?" She wasn't sure why she said his name as she did. She knew it _was_ him after all, here to confirm she had her abilities under control most likely.

Closing the distance between them, Alistair took a seat near Kirah on the log. The two sat in awkward silence for what seemed like a thousand heartbeats. He was far enough that they weren't touching; yet close enough had she wanted to reach for him, she could.

"I get it" Alistair repeated, breaking the quiet that lingered.

Raising an eyebrow, Kirah swung a leg over the log to face him. "Get it?"

_Get what? Get that I murdered my own mother and am in no need of a surrogate one to replace her?_

"Yeah, err, I mean to say," Looking down, Alistair began fidgeting with his hands "I know little miss grumpy girdle rears her scrunched up pretty face more often than she should, but" Alistair tilted his head, meeting Kirah's eyes with his own "I know her heart's always in the right place. If someone tried to replace Duncan, I'd probably punch them…and then feel really bad about it of course."

_Oh…well, close enough._

Kirah denied the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth, opting to look down at the ground instead of keeping Alistair's gaze. "I know I know. I'll try and keep _miss grumpy girdle_ as you like to call me from taking over again. It's just, I realize now that my mother may have been irrational and maybe even foolish to keep me as she did, but she was my mother. I loved her. She took care of me. I don't need Wynne tying to weasel her way into that position, at least not with me." Kirah shook her head as she sliced the air with her hand, emphasizing her stance on the matter.

Alistair began chuckling slightly "See that's why I like you. You're…passionate! Passionate and loyal and strong and not to mention…beautiful." Nervously, Alistair ran a hand through his hair as redness threatened to cover his entire body "Maker's breath, but you weren't looking for compliments were you?"

Something possessed Kirah at that very moment, a desire demon perhaps. She was convinced of it. Why else would she lean forward, pressing her lips feverishly against his? This wasn't how she imagined their first kiss to be like; extremely tense with her hands planted firmly on the log she sat upon. She actually hadn't imagined kissing him at all. Kirah ensured that there was a distance kept between herself and each of her comrades, for their own safety that is. Even Zevran no longer propositioned her. Yet here she was, fumbling in a kiss she never planned on happening. Kirah's nerves began to calm as she felt a calloused hand reach up and cup her cheek. Lifting her own hand to meet his, Kirah parted her lips. Much to her surprise, Alistair accepted willingly.

Their tongues explored each other's mouths, unified in a sort of a dance. Kirah had to admit that Alistair tasted wonderful, nothing like the cheese she expected him to taste like. Not that she was expecting anything at all of course. His flavoring was more akin to the sweet berries that can be found on the side of the road. The ones that you were never quite certain weren't poisonous. Kirah placed her free hand on the back of Alistair's head, bringing their two bodies closer. Her entire body shivered as Alistair held the small of her back with a gentle squeeze; his touch rivaling the softness of his lips. Their breath became one, their passion equally shared. The heat of it all became a little too overwhelming for Kirah to bear, forcing her to part from their kiss prematurely. They sat staring, eyes examining one another's mouths, heavy breaths between them, ecstasy still lingering.

A bashful smile formed on Alistair's face "If I knew that's what I get for understanding things, I would've paid more attention during lessons at the Chantry. Hmm, not to say I wanted to do _that_ with any of the priests at the monastery. Stoplookingatmelikethat."

Kirah smirked, refusing to succumb to a full smile "I guess I should go apologize to Wynne huh?"

"That de-pends" suggestion played among Alistair's features.

Kirah scooted closer, finally flashing Alistair the bright smile he so desired. "Depends?"

"Yeah you know," a tattle telling blush blanketed his sheepish expression "that depends on if you are too busy with leader stuff, or Grey Warden business perhaps?" Alistair shrugged playfully lifting his hands in an attempt to maintain his composure.

"Well," her words spoken low and seductive as she licked her lips in anticipation "I can think of a few things that would keep me busy."

Once again their lips met and once again it was perfect.

Kirah relished in the moment. _Maybe I'm not so cursed after all._


	2. Worse than Death

**Worse Than Death**

_First day, they come and catch us_

The Deep Roads is where a Grey Warden goes to die. Everyone knows it, at least those with the taint flowing through their veins do. Death slumbered in the far reaches of every corridor so it was understandable why they journeyed here of all places. The Calling, a Grey Warden's final glory, as Alistair declared it, was an honored tradition. All Grey Wardens blessed enough not to die in battle experienced it. Though far from her final trial, Kirah felt this would have been a timely end. She could hear the deafening humming echo through her conscience, rattling within her skull. The Screaming, a Grey Warden's final slaughter, as Kirah declared it, was a necessary affair. All Grey Wardens damned enough not to die in battle experienced it.

_Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat_

Down in the darkspawn's territory, down in _their_ home, it was as if Kirah walked in a waking nightmare. The Archdemon mocked her every fiber. Kirah brought a hand to her chest, palming her heart, its beat as heavy and as rapid as it was in her sleep. Habitual nightmares were nothing new to her, but this was different. The longer she remained trapped in stone, trapped within the beast's lair, the more intimate her relationship with the taint, with the Archdemon, became. They were in one another's minds, both parasites in a unified existence.

_Third day, the men are all gnawed again_

She wasn't much different from the dwarven woman, Hespith. Both followed someone they cared for in search of something seemingly out of reach, both came out of it a little…different. Kirah found herself relating to the ghoul and it petrified her. Hespith too had been infected and she too had survived, at least for now. Kirah lowered herself attempting to examine the twitchy dwarf. Rotting flesh covered Hespith's body and her eyes told only of betrayal. Fears enveloped Kirah, weighing heavily on her shoulders. She wondered if they both walked the same path, if she would become what Hespith had turned into…or was turning into. Shaking her head, Kirah convinced herself not to dwell on such disturbing thoughts, at least not now.

_Fourth day, we wait and fear out fate_

Blackness swallowed her, it was everywhere. It was inside her, beneath her, on top of her, consuming her. Darkspawn taint polluted the air and everything it touched. Death bit at the back of her throat, incinerating her insides as it coursed through her. Surveying her surroundings, Kirah took notice of the infinite piles of bodies that lay void of life. Some were charred, some half-eaten, others were simply discarded, but all were shrouded in darkness.

_Fifth day, they return and it's another girls turn_

The smothering stench engulfed Kirah's nostrils, burning as it traveled through her senses. She felt the rancid fumes in her nose, her mouth, her ears, and her eyes. An unnatural tingling sensation clambered along Kirah's body causing her to shudder in disgust. Putrid odors seeped through her robes, staining her once delicate skin. She couldn't escape its possession of her no matter how vigorously she clawed at the invisible vile. Bringing a hand to her throat, Kirah gagged unable to shake the feeling that the taint within her was rising to meet the taint crawling upon her.

_Sixth day, her screams we hear in our dreams_

Off in the distance Kirah could hear a cringe worthy sound. A sound only comparable to a rusted dagger slowly dragging on steel. Thunder of chattering insect limbs vibrated through the hallway. All Kirah wanted to do was turn around and run away. Run away to a place where she could hear her own footsteps again instead of this ominous blare. The Grey Warden, _that sodding Grey Warden,_ in her prevented her from doing so. With sweaty palms, Kirah took a hold of her staff, signaling to the others to prepare for the worst, and pressed on.

_Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew_

Bred from evil to breed evil, the monstrous creature was what the nightmares of nightmares were made of. A twisted behemoth of tentacles and breasts screeched, shaking the ground beneath it. It was a horrifying site to behold. Nothing of it resembled the dwarf it once was; the bright color of its skin its only connection to a feminine being. The blood of a recent meal stained the creatures exposed teeth. Kirah felt sudden tremors sting through her slender form as troves of darkspawn waited to be freed from within its massive swollen womb.

_Eighth day, we hated as she is violated_

It was a brutal fight. It was one of those battles that stories dare not tell. Severed tentacle remnants twitched around them. Kirah could still feel the hold one of those slimy appendages had around her waist. Its dominance slowly squeezing the life out of her as it trashed her frail form about like a chew toy in a mabari's mouth. Once the monster bored with molesting her body it tossed her aside as if to say she wasn't worth any more of its attention. Kirah wanted nothing more than to collapse, crawl inside herself and become one of the many bodies strewed about left for dead. Kirah couldn't do that however. The sight of her companions drenched in sweat and blood, standing after every fall, hacking their way through every wound gave her the strength and valor to see the battle to its end. They needed her, as much as she needed them.

_Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin_

Each of her comrades was bruised, battered, and definitely a little scarred. Alistair sat staring at his shield, or more accurately, pass his shield. He may have taken the final blow, but no amount of pride could erase what he saw or what he felt. Oghren swung his head back taking a slug of ale, hoping to flush the forced sobriety that fell upon him. Morrigan, in all her nonchalant air, leaned on her staff for support rejecting any concern glances aimed in her direction. As dismissive as she was, Kirah could see that this affected Morrigan as much as it did the rest of them. All of them would suffer from nightmares tonight, Grey Warden, dwarf, and witch alike. Breathing in the state of her party, Kirah promised she would see them out alive, yet as much as she hoped against it, not unchanged

_Now she does feast, as she becomes the beast_

Kirah slowly approached the lifeless creature, each step bringing her closer to a horrifying reality. She understood Hespith, understood what Hespith was becoming. Rage boiled in the pit of her stomach. She was a killer in life, and here laid proof that she might not only kill in death, but bear others that would continue to do so. Lightning began trickling from her fingertips as her emotions fueled her animosity. Kirah knelt down picking up a blade belonging to a fallen genlock. Corruption covered every inch of the weapon, Kirah didn't care. It was only as corrupted as she was anyhow. In one quick motion, she stood wielding the blade and with all the strength she could muster plunged the weapon deep into the creature's bright pink exterior. With bared teeth, Kirah freed the blade, gripping tighter.

"I…will…not…be…come…one" she vowed, each word accompanied by another violent stab.

"Perhaps it would be best to focus on the task at hand? T'is seems bit overkill after all."

Kirah paused at the taunting sound. Turning her head slightly, she met Morrigan eye to eye, her hazel ones piercing through Morrigan's yellow ones. A silent warning lingered between the two women. Morrigan's conveying just how foolish she thought Kirah to be and Kirah's demanding to be left alone. Kirah narrowed her expression as Morrigan crossed her arms, both women refusing to budge.

"It's not" was all Kirah could say, accepting defeat. Abandoning the blade, Kirah took one last repulsive look at the carcass. "I will not become…this"

The mental peace Kirah found during her waking hours had been stolen from her. At night, she was a hostage, a bystander in a darkspawn's playground, but while she was awake, she was the one in charge with the skills to slay her night terrors. Darkspawn she could kill. The Archdemon, she would be its death. This however would continue to torment her, even as it lay dead. In opens eyes and behind closed ones, there was this monster now, mocking her, refusing to loosen the grip its tentacles had on her. There was no running to her bed succumbing to sleep to wash away the hardships of the day. Not anymore anyways. Not since she became a Grey Warden. Not since she became…one of them. There was only this, in sleep and in wake, and there would always only be this.

_They remade her in their image. Then she made more of them. Broodmother…_

Kirah always believed she deserved to die, but now she knew…she needed to die.


	3. Dangerous

**Dangerous**

_Love is ultimately selfish…_

Kirah couldn't stop pacing. Her fingers threatened to pull out every strand of her persimmon hair, that hair he loved to touch so much. Sure they've become close and yes, she certainly enjoyed those sneaky kisses, but love? Love was dangerous.

They were supposed to be mage and templar. He was supposed to protect the world from her, not fall in love with her. _Andraste's knickers, that stupid stupid templar _Kirah groaned through grit teeth. She couldn't blame only him however; she was the one that kissed him after all.

It was that ridiculous rose. Now there was something she could blame. She hated it and she told him. She wasn't a gentle flower or a wildflower of any kind. Not anymore at least. She was a weapon and he dared to tell her otherwise. Those puppy dog eyes and broken voice of his got the best of her though, like they always did and always would. Eventually Kirah told him of her past, of her curse. She almost slapped him when he had the audacity to laugh, but he had to go and ruin it. He stubbornly had to hold her. Had to tell her how wonderful and rare she was. As much as she tried to deny it, tried to push it aside, his words made her feel special. By the end of it, she was asking to keep that sweet ridiculous rose and kept it she has.

She was on the brink of screaming. How could she not have noticed? They were always together. She could've prevented this if she wanted to…had she wanted to? Whenever she had watch duty there he was, waiting to keep her company. They would waste away the hours talking, just talking. Well, mostly talking. He would tell her stories of the other Grey Wardens or laugh about the tricks he would pull on the Sisters at the monastery. She would confine in him, tell him about life in the wilds and that of the tower. He would put his arm around her and tell her how happy he was that she was who she was. She would place her head on his shoulders and tease him about how cute he was in his naivety. It was their routine and that was all it was supposed to be. She should've caught this before it spun into what it was surely becoming. She should've seen it in every endearing smile, every heart filled glance, every emotional kiss. She should've felt it.

The problem was she did feel it. With every mission and every errand, she made it a point that Alistair came along. At first she believed it was out of necessity. She needed her portable templar and no one else was better equipped for defense. As time wore on, she came to realize that she didn't need her portable templar, she needed him. He made life fun and worthwhile. She wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. She was addicted and that made her head want to explode.

Wynne was right. She needed to put an end to this; if not to protect him then to stop all of the excessive bellowing. Her noises rivaled only that of her mabari. Collecting herself and her heart; Kirah made her way to the only man capable of driving her positively insane.

"Alistair?" Her voice cracked with nerves she swore she didn't have a footstep earlier.

"Something you need my dear?"

_Why does he have to call me that now? _Cringing, Kirah couldn't bring herself to look at him. If she looked at him, she would melt and that would only lead to danger.

"Can we talk in private?"

"Uh-oh, am I in trouble? I said you could eat the stew, I didn't mention anything about it being edible." Alistair's shoulders rumbled with the stifled chuckle he was containing.

"It's not that" she shuffled through her thoughts trying to find the right words.

"Is it the smell? I swear it's not coming from me…at least not most of it."

"No I just…I…" She didn't want to do this. She wanted nothing more than to laugh, tell him he's adorable and curl up in his arms, but that would be selfish and Wynne was right.

_Wynne… This was all Wynne's fault. Wynne and that bloody rose. Tag teaming me like this, shameless. Maybe they should be the ones doing this instead of me. _Kirah's mind was stumbling as much as her words were.

"What's wrong? Do I need to gather all my manly pride and have a bout with someone for hurting my…"

"We need to end this" Her heart ached, but she needed to do it quickly. Love was like an arrow wound. Pull it out quick and then concern yourself with the bleeding.

"…girl. What? Could you run that by me again?" His jovial tone and warming smile faded with his words.

Kirah refused to look at him. Hearing him refer to her as 'his girl' nearly broke her. If she was going to save him, she needed to be strong; even if all she could do was whisper "It's safer this way."

"I don't accept that."

"You don't have to."

Grabbing her elbow across her body, Kirah turned from Alistair and sulked away. She kept telling herself not to look back, not to run to him and tell him it was all a bad joke. He was the comical one, not her. He would have to believe it. Applying pressure with her thumb to the middle of her brow; Kirah reaffirmed herself. _This is for the best. Love is dangerous. _On the verge of tears, she retreated to the one man that wouldn't expect anything of her. The one man she could curl up with forever and have nothing come of it.

"Hafter, come here boy." Kirah tried pitifully to mask her anguish behind a faint smile.

_Bark! _Hafter trotted over to his human with stubby tail wagging and tongue hanging out.

She could no longer suppress her tears. Dropping to the ground, Kirah wrapped her arms tightly around her mabari and let her eyes flood her sorrows. Hafter whimpered and tried to lick her face, of course it didn't help. She was too far gone.

"I had to let him go. I didn't want to, but I couldn't be selfish." Her speech was slurred and muffled by the fur she tried to hide within.

_Whimper,_ Hafter tilted his head as he lifted a paw to her shoulder.

"It was either hurt him now or hurt him later. Later would've garnered a greater consequence. I did what was right…right?"

She knew questioning what she had to do was silly, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to or mean to, but a part of her cared deeply for that frustrating, stubborn, adorable, lovely man. That was the point though wasn't it? She did care for him and she needed to cut ties before either of them got into the danger zone. Deciding to not fight it, Kirah hugged Hafter tighter and let herself cry.

The moon was almost directly overhead. She must've been in this same position, arms wound around her mabari's neck, for nearly an hour. Kirah shook her head laughing bitterly to herself. She wondered if she would ever grow up or if she would always be that little flower that wilts at the first sign of heat. She was a Grey Warden for Maker's sake, uniting a country to defeat the Blight. This was no place for a little girl and her crush. Sighing, Kirah wallowed in her emotions.

"You know, I was thinking about how wrong you are and let me tell you, it's a lot."

There was that voice again, always catching her off guard. _How does he do that anyways? He's not exactly Mr. Stealth or anything. _Burying her face into Hafter's fur, Kirah tried casually to wipe away her tears.

"Alistair, please…just go away." She would have to be an idiot to think he didn't hear the misery in her tone. Good thing for her she wasn't an idiot, gullible maybe, but not an idiot.

"Little miss grumpy girdle rears her head once again I see. At least you didn't call me Morrigan this time, that would've left a mark."

She couldn't understand how Alistair could be so nonchalant. Perhaps she was an idiot. Maybe he didn't have feelings for her and it was all just …routine. She didn't know if that hurt more or made it easier, all she knew was she wanted to be left alone with her dog.

"Please, not now. I don't want to talk." _Talking leads to conversation. Conversation leads to cuddling. Cuddling leads to kissing. Kissing leads to…love. And love leads to danger. Bad bad bad, all bad. _

"Ok fine, I'll do the talking." Like the vexatious man he was, Alistair took a seat right next to her. He was so close she could practically feel his presence leaning against her. It took all of her willpower not to fall back into the safety of his arms. Controlling herself, Kirah listened to what her templar had to say. "So a little birdie told me you had an interesting chat with Wynne earlier about a certain handsome Grey Warden you've been spending time with. A certain Grey Warden whose heart you insist on shattering for no good reason."

"It's safer…"

"Here I thought you didn't want to talk. Where was I? Oh, that's right. Through my own ingenuity, I've learned something."

He was baiting her; trying to get her to play their game. She knew he was and she fell for it anyways. _Foolish girl…_

"Ingenuity? You mean you threatened to cover Wynne's bed roll with all of your dirty socks unless she told you?"

"Ingenuity, dirty socks, how are they not the same again?" he was flashing her that crooked smile of his. She loved that smile and under normal circumstances she would've returned with one of her own. This wasn't normal by any means. This was dangerous. "Anyways miss interruptions, I was trying to say something. Love isn't selfish. It's only selfish if you go about it by yourself. It's supposed to be a partnership, and I say we are not ended."

"Not sure if you noticed my track record, but I tend to kill those I love." Her breath caught in her throat. _Did I just say love? _She had been so worried about whether Alistair was falling in love with her that she never bothered to stop and consider that she was falling for him.

"I'm not asking you to love me. If you don't love me, it'll be something for me to deal with. My feelings for you are…well, I'm not going to give up on us just because you are scared. I can count the number of people I would do anything for on one hand…on half a hand even, and you're one of them. I'm not going to just let you go like this." He reached out to her, turning her head to face him and taking her hands from her mabari. Hafter whined in jealousy as he moved to lay his head in her lap.

"I don't want to hurt you." Her voice trembled.

"Then don't. It's ok to forgo rationality once in awhile and let your heart win. At least give us a try before you dance the remigold on my one little manly feeling. I may not always look like one, but I am a man…with a sword. I think I could take a 110 pound girl, even if that girl is a temptress of a mage."

"Oh, you think so do you?" She fell for the trap again. He was much better at this than she ever gave him credit for and that was simply maddening. Betraying her will, her fingers poked and pinched and tickled all of Alistair's sensitive areas. She knew them all of course.

"Alright I give I give. Really though, you're not going to hurt me, Hafter and I will make sure of it."

_Bark! _Hafter looked up at Kirah, giving her his famous 'I protect you!' smile.

"I want to believe you, but…"

"Then believe me."

Caressing her chin, Alistair forced Kirah's eyes to meet his. His hazel eyes bore into her hazel eyes. She wondered where that fumbling chantry boy went. If he was still here, none of this would've happened. It dawned on her who truly the one at fault here was. The one she could blame without question was sitting right in front of her. _That sodding templar and his heart melting methods. _Kirah swallowed hard. Pointing fingers was pointless. She knew it was her fault. The truth was she did believe him. She trusted him with her life, why should she not trust him was his own? He was a grown man. If he was foolish enough to risk it then why shouldn't she?

She should've told him; told him of all of her concerns, all of her gluttonous desires. Instead she pressed her lips breathlessly against his. It felt so natural and right that Kirah didn't fight it. She knew she was making excuses and being selfish, but with his lips on hers, she found it hard to care. She felt that maybe, just this once, a gift could just be a gift. No curse attached.

"So, is all the drama over? Did I win?" Hope was written all over his jocular face.

"It's your funeral." She meant it more as a warning than a joke, but Alistair's beaming expression told her he took it as the latter.

"There's my girl." He pulled her in close, fingers curling, threatening to never let her go. "By the way, have I told you that I love you? I did? Well it wouldn't hurt you to hear it again will it?"

"No, but I might hurt you." It surprised her that she meant it in jest. She's never spoken so lightly about something so personal before. He was undoubtedly rubbing off on her, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Mood spoiler." He stood, dusting his trousers "Well now that that's sorted out, I'm going to go rest up for our watch tonight. Don't you even think about skipping out on me or else the sneaky sock brigade will find you. Just you wait." She always found it cute when he waggled his finger at her, especially when he did so close to his own face.

"You are such a disgusting man" A smirk befell upon her.

"And a lucky one at that. I love you Kirah Amell…all of you." His voice was so sweet and sincere that goose bumps blanketed her body.

Petting Hafter's ear, Kirah listened to Alistair's fading footsteps. She was going to risk it, but that didn't make it any less of a risk. _Maybe if I never tell him aloud it will be enough to protect him. _Her thoughts still circulating, Kirah lowered head and muttered under her breath.

"…I love you too."

"I heard that!" His voice carried with bashful giggles from inside his tent.

Dropping her shoulders, Kirah smacked herself on the forehead. _Maker…I'm in trouble_


	4. An End to it All Part 1

**An End to it All (Part 1)**

_Then I will take the final blow myself…_

It was humorous how the words foreshadowing her death came to life so swiftly. By the end of the morrow she would die. Not Riordan and definitely not Alistair. She would make sure of it. Alistair would be made King with Anora at his side and she would die…finally receiving the redemption she sought desperately.

As Kirah entered her room she was surprised to see Morrigan standing there, the woman's sharp features highlighted by flickering firelight. It was an odd thing their relationship. Morrigan was her first and oldest friend, if you could call her that. Yet they never truly got along, siding with bickering rather than bonding. Considering the circumstances, Kirah found herself pleased with Morrigan's presence. The young warden mage had no interest in spending the night alone. Of course, she would never let the witch know that.

Sighing harshly, Kirah feigned annoyance. "What exactly do you think you're doing here in _my_ room?"

"I have awaited your return for quite some time now." Remaining true to her nonchalant self, Morrigan poised with arms crossed, eyes examining the fire dancing before her. "One would assume telling another of their impending death would conclude with haste."

With a lopsided shrug, Kirah brushed off the witch's passive gibe. Suddenly, Morrigan's company didn't seem so tempting. "Unlike you, some of us do have hearts and sometimes it takes time to accept that you or one of your comrades will die."

The witch turned her head slightly, just enough where Kirah took notice of the affliction laded beneath the woman's eyes. As if waving a hand in front of her face and dispelling all emotion, Morrigan shook her head, dissolving all evidence of dejection. On a heel the witch spun to face her would be friend. Her yellow eyes coolly fixated on Kirah's hazel ones as she let out a breathy sigh. "Alas, accepting ones death does not prevent ones death. I, however, am here to tell you it does not need to be." As if walking on air, Morrigan celestially closed the distance between the two women. "I know what happens when an Archdemon is slain. I know a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, and that sacrifice could be you."

Kirah shifted her weight and arched an eyebrow. "How do you know this? I would think pressing your ear against a door would be beneath you."

"T'is not relevant how I know what I know, all that's important is what I am offering you. I have a plan you see. A way out. The loop in your hole, as it were." The witch busied her hands, hooking her index fingers together and rubbing small circles with her thumbs. Calmly she sat at the footing of the bed; gaze firmly attached to Kirah's. "What I propose is this: listen to what I have to say and then you may do as you see fit."

Waving a hand, Kirah clucked her tongue in compliance.

"Convince Alistair to lay with me, here, tonight and from this joining a child will be conceived. The child will bear the taint and the spirit of the Archdemon will be drawn to it like a beacon. At this early stage, the child will absorb its essence and not be harmed. Instead it will be born with the soul of the Old God. No one need be sacrificed and you may live on as the Hero of Ferelden. Something no other Grey Warden has accomplished."

A slew of red flags waved vigorously in the warden's mind. She couldn't fathom how sleeping with her…brother in arms…would solve anything. Aside from that, Morrigan spoke of bearing a child, his child, who would no doubt grow up to be some demon spawn for the witch to play with. No, Kirah didn't like the sound of it at all. "You're mad. What makes you think I would even consider this?"

"T'is simple, you do not wish to die."

Kirah scoffed at Morrigan's presumptuous tone and retorted in her own acidity. "You do not know me as well as you think you do _friend_. You should know better than anyone that I deserve to be sacrificed. So you are wrong, if it means ending this blight and saving you all, I most certainly wish to die."

"If that were true, you would already be dead…would you not? Certainly you have come across some reason to live and that shall be your rationale to continue doing so. Would you deny yourself tomorrow and all of its rewards? I would advise you not squander this opportunity." A subtle sincerity lined the witch's words

"I…no!" Like a petulant child running from her parents, Kirah flopped on the bed and buried her head in a pillow. Her knuckles whitened as she clenched down on the fabric.

Morrigan respired, managing to keep her tone low and logical. Unfortunate for Kirah, Morrigan did know her better than anyone. She knew how to appeal to the warden's consequent nature; knew exactly what buttons to push. "If you would prefer, consider Alistair. What if it is he that faces the Archdemon? Do you think he will fail to do his duty as the future King and save his country? Are you so willing to let him perish?"

Kirah shot up, propping herself on a stiff arm. With a constricted jaw and eyes burning with the rage of a juvenile youth, the mage declared…to herself more than to the witch beside her "I won't let him die!"

"Then consider the alternative. If you take the final blow he loses the woman he loves. How do you think he will fare once you are gone?"

Kirah's eyes fluttered as she broke eye contact with Morrigan. This was the reason she arranged his marriage to Anora. With Kirah gone the two could form a sturdy union and Alistair would have the aid he needs to move on. It was already working; he ended things between them despite their heart's protests. "He belongs to Anora now, he'll be fine."

The witch shook her head. "Perhaps, but do you truly believe his love for you will cease once he shares his bed with another? Evaluate your own thoughts. Do you no longer love him now that he marries someone other than you? No, I think not."

"That is none of your business." Kirah snapped. She wasn't about to have her feelings examined by a heartless shrew. "My answer is still no. I will not turn to black arts to save my life neither will I risk the future of Ferelden. If I'm able to destroy the soul of the Old God now I will do it."

"Will you not reconsider? One of you will surely die."

"Then that will be me." Kirah's features tensed, signally to the witch that her stance was cemented.

"Ah still the fool girl I met in the wilds I see." A twitch of a smile fleeted across the witch's face. As abrupt as it were to appear it disappeared. Morrigan stood with chagrin and bafflement. "As you wish, but I will not stand idly by and watch you waste away your life. Die! If you feel it is worthwhile. I care not!" With a roll of her eyes and a flick of a wrist, the witch pompously made way for the exit. "Long ago, Flemeth advised that you were destined to fail. I now see how correct she truly was. Enjoy tonight, for it surely will be your last." Pausing at the door frame, Morrigan lifted a hand to the wall and took one last guileless look at the foolish mage. "Goodbye…friend."


	5. An End to it All Part 2

**An End to it All (Part 2)**

Kirah roamed the halls aimlessly like a lonely spirit lost in the labyrinth of the fade. There was something about wasting the remainder of her life with sleep that lacked appeal; though her current situation held very little value as well. There was but only one way she wished to spend her final night.

The door never changed, no matter how many times she stalked by. It was always brown and closed and there. Occasionally she would pause and stare it down; hoping her will alone would force it open or at least shatter it into a million tiny splinters, punishment for blatantly mocking her so.

Tired of submitting for what seemed to be the hundredth time to something that was nothing more than an oversized fetch toy for her mabari, Kirah marched up to her formidable adversary with the most menacing scowl her face could muster. Her fists rattled at her sides as sparks of lightning tickled her with anticipation, lending more damage to her hips than to her opponent. Her arms rumbled with tension as barriers of nerves stood their ground firmly, refusing to let her attack.

Defeated yet again, Kirah huffed and slumped forward. She could hear the knots in the door ridicule her as she fuddled in failure. _Foolish girl; can't even bring yourself to knock…_

_"Is someone there? It's open."_ A muffled voice startled her from her self deprecation. She felt like a bloody nughumper. Not only had she groaned and dragged her feet desolately pass his room more times than she could remember, but she had fallen forehead first right into the sodding door. _"Hello?" _Breathing in deeply, Kirah reached for the knob.

_Hessarian's mercy, please don't let me mess this up…_

Kirah's heart warmed as she saw him sitting at the edge of the bed, face buried in his hands. "Are you ok?"

"K-Kirah?" Alistair stood and approached her, eyes filled with concern and confusion. "What are you…?"

Raising a hand, Kirah silently hushed her fellow Grey Warden. She needed to say something and wanted to be certain she said it before any other interloper dared to challenge her. "I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I could die. You…we…all could die." Swallowing away thoughts of Morrigan's offer, her fractured voice came out just above a whisper. "I know you are no longer mine, but do you think we could push all that aside just for tonight? Forget that you're King. Forget about Anora. Ignore the Blight that's looming before us and delay our misery a tad longer." Kirah held onto her elbow from across her body and hung her head low. Surely Alistair would think her a pathetic little girl and turn her away. What right did she reserve to come to him like this? She made _him_ King after all.

Tugging on her free hand, Alistair pulled Kirah close into a warm embrace and kissed her hair lightly. "I will always be yours, whether you want me or not." His body began trembling with stifled giggles as he gently petted her persimmon hair.

"What's so funny?" Kirah leaned back and raised an eyebrow curiously. _He wouldn't laugh at me during a time like this…would he?_

"Oh, it's nothing. It's just…" A sly smile crept into form as Alistair shrugged his shoulders. "I've never told you, but after I die…I plan on haunting you. Not even the fade will keep me from pestering my little miss grumpy girdle." Alistair beamed, obviously pleased with himself. "I do have a duty after all. You named me your templar way before you named me King. You can't get rid of me that easily. Crown or no, you're stuck with me."

Kirah playfully slapped his chest and simpered. "Oh Maker, what am I to do with you?"

She wasn't sure what would happen after she perished. Didn't know if she would retain any of her memories, but nevertheless, this was what she would miss the most. His ability to make her laugh and smile so effortlessly was something she cherished dearly.

Kirah puckered her brows as Alistair released his grasp on her. Sitting at the edge of the bed once again, Alistair knotted his hands back and forth just as he would every time that fumbling nervous chantry boy inside of him surfaced. "W-would it be alright if…if I were to ask to, uh, hold you?" His voice squeaked as he flustered in his words and his face twisted timidly. "I know we had to end things, but…"

Kirah nodded as she sat next to him. "Please do." Her soft tone swelled with anguish.

The couple cuddled on their sides facing one another, eyes enraptured within each other's gazes. Alistair curled an arm around her slender form as his other entangled itself amongst her battle worn hands. Their eyes watered as they struggled to bite back a strew of tears.

Sniffling, Alistair took it upon himself to lighten the mood. He was never one to allow her captivating smile to melt for an extended period of time. "So…10 things worse than the Blight…go!"

"Excuse me?" Kirah replied addled.

"10 things worse than the Blight, go!" Alistair squeezed her hand as he repeated.

Kirah smirked. What better way to spend her last hours than playing a game with the man she adored. "Easy, Oghren's breath."

Alistair snorted in agreement. "Well, I can't argue that one. Hmm, my turn I take it. Um…how about Zevran?"

"Zevran's what?"

"Just Zevran." Her templar smiled as he bit his lower lip. "Not only did he try to assassinate us, but he did try to…to_ engage_ you. Let's just say he's lucky you have me wrapped around your finger."

Kirah crinkled her nose and snickered, playfully tapping Alistair on the nose. "You're so cute when you're jealous." A tinge of pink painted his face. "Three, the guards at Fort Drakon."

"I don't know about that one. If a beautiful nearly naked woman tempted me, I doubt I would resist. Maybe we should replace 'guards at Fort Drakon' with female prisoners instead." Alistair raised his eyebrows as the corners of his mouth curled upwards.

Growling, the mage rolled her eyes. "Move on…"

Chuckling, the ex-templar obliged. "Four, a low cheese supply."

Kirah shook her head. "Five, your cooking."

"Hey!" Alistair narrowed his eyes and pouted. "Ok fine. Six, your cooking."

"But I never cooked!" She whimpered, mimicking her templar's expression.

"Exactly. Your cooking is so much worse than the Blight that it didn't even exist!" He snickered as Kirah bit the air in front of his face.

"Seven, a drunken mage with a drunken bard." Kirah buried half her face in Alistair's hand in an attempt to hide her embarrassment.

"I remember that night. You two couldn't stop tickling each other and Oghren ended up spending the rest of the night in his tent." Alistair's eyes widened. "Maker's breath. Oh…I think I just figured out why. Eww—gross." Grimacing, he stuck his tongue out in disgust. "Ignoring that now. Eight, camping in the middle of nowhere with an assassin, a drunken dwarf, a murdering Qunari, a Maker crazed bard, a dead-not-dead healer, a dangerous apostate, a pigeon crushing golem, and…"

"A temptress of a mage!" Kirah smiled wide looking as innocent as a child who stole a cookie.

Leaning forward, he kissed her gently on the forehead. "Exactly."

"Nine, rocks." The mage nodded as if there was no need to explain.

Alistair tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "Rocks?"

"Next time you're with a woman in the middle of nowhere, you try being on the bottom and see how much you like rocks then."

"Bottom? Oh…" Sheepishly he smiled as it slowly registered in his naive mind. "Ten…" Softening his gaze, Alistair stared devotedly into her eyes. "…marrying Anora instead of you."

"Alistair…" her delicate face scrunched with heartache. "I'm scared. I don't want tonight to end."

Her templar sighed as he rubbed small circles on her hand with his thumb. "Me too."

Tenderly he kissed her. Tears they fought to keep at bay breached their eyelid barriers and rolled down their cheeks. They spent the rest of the night embraced, savoring every second. Silently, Kirah thought of one more thing worse than the blight. _Eleven…losing him. _Tomorrow rested in the jaws of the Archdemon, but this night belonged to them, and Kirah wouldn't have it any other way. For now, tomorrow could wait.


End file.
